The thing you resist the most might be also the one thing you need the most.
“You either walk inside your story and own it or you stand outside your story and hustle for your worthiness.”
Brene Brown
There are two things you must-do if you want to stop resisting what you need the most and open the doors to your creativity.
- create an Open Heart
- create an Open Mind
Every one of us needs to be creative. Yes, the more we use our creativity the more successful we will be in our lives and work. Creativity means FREEDOM.
Creativity opens doors to opportunities, brings change, makes change bearable and helps us navigate through hardship and adversity. And if that is not enough creativity also provides joy and the art of creating itself.
Making things out of thin air is what your creativity can bring you and this alone is pure magic.
But creativity comes with a catch. And the catch is that you have to have an open heart and an open mind.
Those two aspects alone drive people away from creativity.
being open means being vulnerable and in a world that teaches us to follow and not to lead. Daring to be vulnerable feels dangerous.
I am here to tell you this is not the case.
The two steps to overcome resistance
The first thing you need to do is be willing to take the steps. This sentence may feel unnecessary but the thing is if you are not willing to move forward you will be stuck. If you are not stepping into the bus when it arrives it will leave without you.
Take the steps and find yourself growing into an open and highly creative human being that is less afraid of the new and unexpected. You will reach your creative potential in a big way.
Vulnerability is scary
Most people believe that being vulnerable is being a target, being vulnerable is not for strong people. Most people believe vulnerability is the opposite of being strong.
Brene Brown writes about vulnerability and shows us the exact opposite. Vulnerability is being strong, daring, courageous. Showing how you feel, who you are, what you love. It takes courage to do this.
Only those who are strong enough to stand in a storm, talking about being vulnerable, can rise.
Change Vulnerability to Courage.
When you have the chutzpah to stand up and speak your mind about something, you may feel vulnerable but you are very strong.
Think about one time, you stood up for what you believed in, made something you cared about or shared an emotional moment.
It takes a strong mind and asks for a courageous person.
Open Heart
The first thing is an Open Heart. Most of us feel resistance to opening our hearts. You may feel inclined to close your heart because it feels safe and nothing can hurt you.
With a closed heart, nothing can go in. But a closed heart also means that nothing can go out.
No goodness can go out from you into the world.
What is keeping you from opening up your heart?
Did you have people around you that have hurt you, so you closed your heart? Did you want to protect yourself?
You may have all kinds of reasons to have closed your heart but if you desire to be more creative and gain the creative confidence you need to be the string you, to rise, to create, to lead and to be successful you need an open heart.
How to have an open heart?
There are three actions you can take to open your heart:
- Be nice to yourself
2. Enjoy the moment you are in.
3. Stay away from having an opinion about everything
1. Be nice to yourself
Being nice to yourself is easier said than done. I have always been very strict with myself as this was the way forward. Until I discovered that when I treated myself with the same kindness I expected others to treat me I was softer. Soft to me meant being a pushover or worse. but here I found myself to be more whole, together and much more open to my surroundings. I discovered that treating myself with kindness, gave me confidence. I was more alive and also much more creative.
One way to be nice to yourself is to treat yourself once a week.
You can spend 1 hour doing what you would love to do, but never allow yourself to do, because it sounds silly, feel childish, is not for grownups. it can be playing, creating, buying yourself that big ice cream cone with 6 scoops. I have been known to treat myself and my family to an ice cream dinner. Sitting outside in the sunshine, maybe even with a book and looking around you is heaven. Total bliss if you allow yourself to take time out.
Do this today
Take one hour and spoil yourself. Do not rush, take the time. When you are strapped for cash it does not have to cost anything. Take a long walk on the beach, in the forest or downtown. Watch the shop windows, really watch them and see what is there.
2. Enjoy the moment you are in.
Right now where are you? Are you in the spot you would like to be in?
can you move to be where you want to be? Take a walk or sit somewhere quiet?
Being alone with yourself is for most people, not an easy task.
have you ever noticed what is around you, what object you have around you? What are the most prominent colours? Do you see anything you like?
Yes, take the time to look around you.
What catches your eye immediately. What is the one thing that you do not like, but it there nevertheless,
Seeing the environment you are in makes you more aware and trainer your subconscious to take more in. When you have an open heart this means that you do not shut down once you sit down.
Most people tend to close their hearts to their surroundings. It’s an easy task since this is what our brain does automatically. So opening the heart up should be done on purpose and manually.
it will do be an automated effort until you have trained yourself for many years to see all that is around you.
To feel the emotions of other people, to see all the colours and all that is.
I have trained myself from a very young age to be open, open to all. To other people, to their emotions, to talking, to whispering, to beliefs, all that happens around me.
Navy seals are trained to see all that is around them. They need to be aware. when they miss something this might mean their lives are in danger.
Your life will not be in danger as such but your creativity might lose out when you just go through life unattentive.
Pay attention, where you are right now.
Be aware of what you see and enjoy the moment you are in.
Take a deep breath, sit still and just be there. This is not meditating, although you may be inclined to think so.
this is to be there, to fully absorb you being there. try smiling even to make the experience more true. Smiling tricks our bodies into relaxing, leading to a lower heart rate and blood pressure. Science has shown that the simple act of smiling can lift your mood, lower stress, and boost your immune system, as Doctor Isha Gupta, a neurologist from IGEA Brain and Spine shows in his research.
3. Stay away from having an opinion about everything
We have been educated to form an opinion about everything. Social media triggers us to react and to confront. Having an opinion about everything closes up your heart. You as a human being live in a world with a wide variety of people, situations and cultures that are all different. having an opinion seems a good way to show where you are from and what you think but it immediately closes your heart to other and outside actions, experiences, beliefs and cultures.
An opinion most of the time mass, that you have already made up your mind and that there is no room for more.
But to be more creative, to gain your creative confidence you need more input.
But you also need to refrain from forming opinions as they keep away new input. Once you form an opinion, this stops your need for new information, new input. And thus will create blocks. You will close your heart to the new.
Why is new input important? You as a creative human being. need to be open to new experiences. The open heart makes sure you will receive new input because you are open to it.
The open heart feels scary, dangerous and maybe even very uncomfortable. This is quite normal and the more often you will try to open your heart the more at ease you will be with your new you. This is like learning a sport, the more you do it the more easy and comfortable you will feel. The first time you try to sky you will feel foolish and awkward, but once you know how to ski you will have trained your muscles to follow the movement and you will look elegant and very professional. This is also very true for training the open heart.
At first, you will feel silly. You will even feel not worthy of doing this. But all creative and successful people give themselves time, time to be themselves. this is about connecting to you. Finding out who you are. making plans to be with you. Celebrating your won company and enjoying what you love to do. It is about caring about you and who you are.
This should be a joyful experience.
In the next step, I will show you what the open heart will do to create an open mind.
How to have an open mind
“The confidence that individuals have in their beliefs depends mostly on the quality of the story they can tell about what they see, even if they see little.” Daniel Kahneman
How your mind works
Your brain collects all new experiences and archives them. The more you have in store, the more solutions, ideas, creativity comes out of your brain. If you keep your brain closed from receiving more and new experiences, beliefs or any other input, you will have a very meagre archive. Imagine if you can only choose from two different options, instead of 100 options. Yes, choosing might be easier but you are at risk of choosing an idea that is not quite right.
The more options you have the better you will choose the right idea. So the more input your will give your batin, the more archived material. To get more material, you need to have an open heart. All of the above steps are there to help you fill your mind with new input.
Opening up your brain for this new input is as you have read most important to creativity.
Resistance to open the mind is very common and it is there to keep us safe. Resistance is a reaction. Nothing will harm you, and you know this, still, the signal your bain will give is evident: You feel anxious, sweaty palms and fog brain. You have just tried to do something that does not come naturally to you and your brain stopped you.
Your brain decided you were in danger and made you stop in your tracks. Resistance to try new things, to step forward, to lean in, to be creative and to get the attention you need is normal. Resistance will make you feel scared and fearful. Resistance stops you from doing what you want to do.
Do not let it stop you
The most effective way to move forward, when you feel resistance
When your parents tried to keep you safe when you were a kid, and you wanted to climb that tree, you probably did it anyway. Your brain did not have this automatic stop system in place. You needed your parent to keep you from harm.
As we grow our brain develops and our automatic response system does too. We do not need our parents anymore, now we have developed our system but it might be keeping us from where we want to go.
Resistance grows the more we feel our environment, the more critique we get the more resistance to show ourselves.
The most effective way to move past your resistance is to say thank you but I am fine.
It’s very simple, and I know you can do this.
When you feel resistance, it can be in any shape or form, just breathe in and out and say thank you but I am fine.
When you have the deep desire to use your full creative potential you will feel more resistance.
The higher your resistance the more daring your actions will be. Most people will shy away from feeling the resistance because it is a quick sign of you going out of your comfort zone. It is the door to the next level.
But the next level is what you want, you want to be creative confident.
to stand up for what you believe in, make that mark, create theta project and be more your creative self.
Resistance is the mark that you are going in the right direction.
Let me say that again when you feel resistance you are doing a great job. Resistance would NEVET show up when you are staying on the same level.
Celebrate your resistance because it means you are growing. Resistance is proof that you are moving forward and gaining creative confidence bit by bit.
So when you are trying to move away from resistance, try to move towards it, embrace it and say thank you and move on.
Remember the open heart & open mind exercises are there to help you get more comfortable with your resistance.
Here are some reflective questions you may want to ask yourself:
How can I make myself happier?
What can I do to create more creative freedom for myself?
Find a new way to say thank you.
You know now that feeling resistance is not bad, it’s a good sign. It means you are doing something you want to do but scares you. And that is fine.
It means progress.
Go try it.
Make things happen.
I believe in the creative YOU!
xMaurille
